Hank Smith: 00:05 Hello everyone. Welcome to FollowHIM Favorites. If you’ve been following this year, you know that, FollowHIM Favorites, we ask a single question of the lesson. The lesson this week is in 2nd Samuel. We’re talking about King David and the Goliath he couldn’t kill, which was this abuse of his power.

Hank Smith: 00:23 John, I have students and children that I get to teach the Law of Chastity to, and I think a natural question is, when I’m getting such an opposite message from so many other media sources, why is this one so important? Why does this one matter so much? What would you say to someone who says why is the Law of Chasity so important?

John Bytheway: 00:42 That is a get out the proclamation to the world on the family type question, isn’t it? Because it’s all such an important part of God’s plan, is families, but in the right way, I guess. So it may need a little bit of trust in God’s commandments, I think also.

John Bytheway: 00:59 I remember Sherri Dew saying in one of her books once, I thought, “Oh my goodness, that is so insightful.” She said, “I’ve never heard anyone who has said, ‘I’m a happier person. I have more peace of mind. I feel better about myself as a result of breaking the Law of Chastity.'” So of course, you’re not going to hear that. There may be a, I trust God element. He loves me. So sometimes he says, I love you like this: I love you. Sometimes he says, I love you like this: Thou shall not.

John Bytheway: 01:25 Another thing I think is maybe a better question for us, and really one we can really apply in all of our teenage young adult friends, all of us really, is what strategies do we use to combat temptation regarding the Law of Chasity, or even thinking about it, like bringing in this David story.

John Bytheway: 01:47 For me, Hank, I just think that when I teach the war chapters in the Book of Mormon, I teach Alma 52 as a, why did they leave their stronghold thing? I always bring in this story of David because there were little steps, where first he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. It says at a time when kings went to war, he’s up on his porch. Then he sees Bathsheba. Oh, cut it off right there. Go inside, sing a hymn, whatever.

John Bytheway: 02:15 Then there’s another step. Well, go find out who she is. So they find out who she is. They come back. Well, okay, David, can you stop there? Then it was what? Well, go send for her. It’s just the story, it’s a punch in the gut because this was David that slew Goliath, but his own lust and curiosity there is too much for him. So I think we all can see that lesson.

John Bytheway: 02:38 Elder Maxwell said something once, and some of the young people might not remember Elder Maxwell, but he says, “Initially, when a temptation comes, we are stronger than the temptation.” Then he used the word, dalliance, like we dally in it, dalliance turns things upside down. Suddenly, the temptation becomes stronger than us. So you got to not take that extra step each time like David did. So maybe we can learn that great lesson from him, as quickly as you can realize what’s happening, cut it off, don’t leave your stronghold. I don’t know. Does that help, Hank?

Hank Smith: 03:15 Well, John, what you’re saying here reminds me of King Benjamin. Watch your thoughts, your words, and your deeds. David’s thoughts became words. Let’s inquire after her. Go find out about that. Find out about that woman, and those words turned into deeds. So if he could’ve controlled the thought, if he would’ve had the thought and then walked away, the thought never becomes words. When the thoughts become words, but you still could have stopped after that. You know what? Forget about that inquiry I sent. Forget about that. I don’t want to know, but those words then became deed. I like the commas. Watch your thoughts, words, deeds. There’s the comma between each one. You can stop.

John Bytheway: 03:55 Yeah, like there’s a sequence. Even I think Jacob, that we both love in the Book of Mormon, talks about I can tell you concerning your thoughts how you’re beginning to labor in sin. All of this starts with a thought. So if you can cut off the thought, then you won’t go further type of a thing. Easier said than done, but the formula is right there. When we have an awareness that I need to change my thoughts right now, so much of a better place to start and an easier place to start than when it starts becoming deeds.

Hank Smith: 04:25 I love how you said that John. You were saying, I’m having this thought. Having the thought does not mean you’re broken, doesn’t mean you’re sinful, doesn’t mean you’re awful. What are you going to do now?

John Bytheway: 04:35 Right.

Hank Smith: 04:35 What are you going to do now that you’ve found out you’re human and you’ve had a thought? What are you going to do? You asked about ways to flee temptation, right? How do you get away from temptation? There’s one thing that I learned years and years ago. Maybe it was my father or a church leader or a seminary teacher, I don’t remember who it was. It went something like this, and I’ve developed it in my own teaching. When I go out and use a hammer, I don’t think about that hammer’s past and I don’t think about its future, and I don’t think about how it feels at the time when I use it. I use it because it is an object. I just smash that hammer, and guess what, John, when my hammer breaks, guess what I do? I throw it away and I get a new one.

Hank Smith: 05:15 Well, people are not objects. David uses Bathsheba as an object, something for him to use. He doesn’t think about her past. He doesn’t think about her future and he doesn’t think about her feelings. That’s abuse. Doesn’t think about her husband. For me personally, I’ve always tried to remember people are not objects. If someone is being used to the point where you don’t care about their future, you don’t care about their past, you don’t care about their feelings, you’re in the wrong place.

Hank Smith: 05:46 That’s one reason to me, pornography is so offensive is that people become objects to be used and then thrown away and a new one, I can get a replacement anytime, especially with technology. People are not objects. Don’t use people as objects. They are children of God. The worth of souls is great in the sight of God.

Hank Smith: 06:10 Now, John, we don’t want anyone to come away from FollowHIM Favorites feeling guilty. What are we going to say to those who sit and listen to this and go, oh man, what if I’ve really made some serious mistakes? How do we help them?

John Bytheway: 06:22 Yeah. I’m so glad you said that because I think Heavenly Father knows the world he sent us to. I think he knows this 2022 world’s pretty tough. I love the metaphor of the covenant path. There are off ramps, but there are always on ramps. Just get back on the covenant path.

John Bytheway: 06:44 You’ve got help. You’ve got a quorum, you’ve got a Bishop, you’ve got someone who can give you a blessing, and you just relentlessly keep coming back on the covenant path. I think you grow stronger, maybe it’s not as fast as you want, but you keep coming back.

Hank Smith: 07:00 Yep. Keep coming back.

John Bytheway: 07:01 I hope that’s encouraging to people that there’s always a way back. The Lord offers that sacrament table every single Sunday, and there’s a way to keep coming back. Hopefully that’s helpful.

Hank Smith: 07:14 That’s a fantastic thought, John, that you can come back. We’re like a car and we get beat up a little bit on the roads of life, and we go see the mechanic and the Savior is an excellent mechanic. He can straighten out any misalignment. He can fix the dents. He can make it so every time you come out of that mechanic shop that sacrament meeting, you’re a brand new car. You have that brand new car smell.

Hank Smith: 07:40 So please come back. Please return. Don’t say I’ve gone too far. I’ve done too much. It’s too embarrassing. It’s too shameful. It’s not. Please come back. We want you here. None of us is perfect. None of us has walked a perfect road. We’re all here because of the great mechanic. So you can join us. Come join us as we all try to visit the mechanic shop as easily as we can.

Hank Smith: 08:04 My fear, John, is that someone could go, well, if I can just fix it, then no big deal. Then I’ll just keep sinning. Yeah, you could fix it every time. The problem is eventually you won’t want to come back to the mechanic. They won’t be appealing to you to get fixed up. Please repent. Come back to us.

John Bytheway: 08:21 Yeah. We don’t want it to sound like a, well, if I mess up, I’ll just do this. Well, if I mess… No, we’re trying to make progress. We’re trying to become more like the Savior. Ultimately we want to lose desire for sin, but Joseph Smith said, “Thankfully, this is a station to which no man ever arrived in a moment.”

John Bytheway: 08:40 There’s miraculous stories like king Benjamin’s people, but even then, I don’t think that was permanent when they lost all desire for sin. He said, “Now you got to come back tomorrow and I’m going to give you a name and you’re going to take this name upon you.” That name is the mechanic you’ve been talking about, the name of the Savior. So even for those exceptional stories, there’s a growth process and it’s not immediate. I’m glad Joseph Smith said that, but we’re trying to lose desire for sin slowly over time. The Savior is the only one who can help us do that. That’s my belief.

Hank Smith: 09:12 Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Well, thanks for joining us today on FollowHIM Favorites. We hope you’ll come back next week. Come join us on our big full podcast. We’re interviewing Dr. Michael Goodman. He has a PhD in Marriage and Family Development. We’d love to have you join us on our full podcast, and join us next week for another episode of FollowHIM Favorites.